my heart goes out to the middle-class family in china whose loft sits complacently beside the ginormous olympics 2008 stadium. they were only ones in the building who a) didn't leave town in time because papa chong had to work overtime or b) couldn't afford a ticket to the games because they're asshole of a daughter (in pigtails) just needed her wii fit glorified in pure gold.
im watching the closing games this very minute because i don't feel like masturbating. well, i mean, if i really wanted to i could to this. apparently, china has only one size pair of pants.
these people really love ropes and flying and dance moves straight from a half-rate cheerleading coach on a pound of weed. that bitch totally got smoked out by the teletubbies.
did anyone even break a leg this year? did OJ compete?
oh geez. now daft punk is flying to the ceiling. i wish i was in the crowd at this very moment, sitting with my best friend. we would have a field day. i mean, don't these athletes watch this and think to themselves "this is totally staining the honor and dignity of my sport."? i mean, when I go to Target i wanna 100% know that someone in China spent 14 hours a day making my Isaac Mizrahi sheets, on clearance of course. I don't wanna know that they've been on ropes & pulleys, practing flower formations.
im completely kidding about that. i dated an asian once, so im cool.
OMG JACKIE CHAN!
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