da-dashes-over-overrated

for the affiliation of winter birds and fiu sophomores who inhabit my familiar south beach streets:
spend your next two hours doing the following;
get to the nearest 75 cent beer. drink it and then contemplate whether the chicken fajita or the beef taco will be sans pareil.
spend the next 25 minutes downing your third and second beer, while your long distance girlfriend from nc state sips her first corona in enigmatic dullness. when you finally decide to make it valiantly across the way to your hotel bar don't stand in the middle of the street like a helpless, raped domestic deer in headlights. you have 50 minutes to kill before your anterior commussure implodes ad mist the diencephalon. after an equitable rant about a budding and callow experience last spring break, don't forget to pinch yourself on your way out of the foyer. good riddance; surfs up.


love,
south pointe-ee

boxes and boxes and boxes

RETURN OF THE MACK.

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

for real for real i want a flea market.

imma start off with JUST ONE i promise, because then i'll eat a steak

ohhhhhh baybe baybe baby baby ohhhhhhhhhhhhh obaamabayabe baby baby ohh

wzup JOE

abandonment of any kind is a selfish act. i guess albeit you are a meth creature trying not to stare into the sun anymore because your burnt cornea is costing you more than that new honda accord you've been drooling about. and so dear ones and lost ones, abandonment of expression and personal perspective is the ultimate ending to an ultimate vacation. chamillionare would second the notion that explanations escape me at the moment, those weathered excuses that have abraded the sands of time. all which could never compare to the pawn shop-bought mixer that joseito sold me on 8th street for the price of a halter top from forever 21. your my boy joseito fuck the feds and the meds.

halloween: dont front like you'd miss veit in a speedo. and im going to be pocahontas with a vengence. rudimentary party city costumes i sneer at your second rate attempts. but i high-five your efforts to get laid before new years-get it lil red ridin hood get it get it girl.

dBUNKED: wat am ii doing TUEZ

madrileña CANNOT DENY

hUuuuMps LADY(wednesday) HUMPS

at a loss of words i have but two things to say on the commemoration of my most hated day of the week. i hope i catch someone cheating on my test so i can set their paper on fire in class, this way the heat resonating from the flames will warm up what were formerly toes but are now orange and grape popsicles. it appears the a/c on my side of the building has been taking sterioids since the bombing of pearl harbor. number two, i desperately hope that my wednesday evening doesnt turn out to be a blur of naps and the colbert report. with that said, i conclude my triennial clause and hope for a world with better google images and cognizant drivers.

deBUNKED: txt edition

the filial monday that will unfold before my eyes holds the boorishness of a kitty cat and the ego of aubrey o'day. what happened to the minimal scraps that became my weekend? why did harold and kumar escape from guantanamo bay have to be such a gratuitous celluloid blur? how come the first day of the week always smells like sulfur and stagnant declension? the answers to these cryptic ambiguities lie in the pumpkin pie i made last night (the first of the season, this particular season belonging soley to jesus' for he is the obvious and only reason for this 'season'; an axiom on the bumpers of the illuminated and enlightened citizens of earth).

waycong 2 meeeyamii guillz.

RAINRAINRAIN-sombersaturday

you can send your hate mail to veit, she is the single mother who ran out on us.

R I muthafukang P hOoOottie 4 lyfe

stOne lOve

what is up with everyone's tedious lethargy? i like activa just as much as the next seasoned twenty something year old but i am finding it hard to stay away during my lunch break. the weariness of my workdays worry me. the monotony, the copy machines the talking heads with gaping mouths full of empty languor. lets go ride a sea-doo!

%$#*! blisterbust

veit has disavowed this blog:

debUNKED: WORSTWKEVER edition

forlorn souls sip their margaritas at the company happy hour. somewhere an old man picks up a recorder and plays 'green sleeves', a piece of titanium nitrate fizzles into our universe. and i take the third nap i've taken this week. WTTTFFFFFFFF


HERE is my NEWW look (a conjugation of both)

+

I HAVE LONG FUCKIN HAIR-do000OOn'care

a study of 303 laparoscopic surgeons (82 percent men; 18 percent women) showed that surgeons who played video games requiring spatial skills and hand dexterity and then performed a drill testing these skills were significantly faster at their first attempt and across all 10 trials than the surgeons who did not the play video games first.

part two: NOT

a NON-verbal explanation to my absence part one.

i learned some french yesterday.





innocuous times call for truculent measures.

so chanced!

what in the world happened to my finger.
more to come.

turn ons:
white t & jeans
sarcasm
the rejection of carbonated sports drinks
self-bonding rubber
invitations to "watch a movie"

turn offs:
mccain, palin, & kilgore
brain dead-ness. the essence of brain dead.

Grrrrraanola Fest 2008

deBUNKED: monday edition

LUUUKIN SO CRZY IN LOVE GOTME LOOKIN GOTME LOOKIN SO CRAZZZY BIGGG BUTTTZZZ



(ihatebeyonceknowlessavetheearth.org)

(answers later DONT CHEAT!)

NOW for some SAT practice KIDSSSSSSSS:

which words are synonyms for DISPARITY?
a. saturday, 2 for 1, starbucks
b. mondays, suits, agendas, gum
c. peanut butter, dried fruit, champagne
d. frank sinatra, hurrican parties, hialeah

which words are antonyms for RAPTUROUS HAPPINESS?
a. gold fangs, new york, cleopatra
b. sarah palin, macys, doctor visits
c. falafels, ten speeds, rum runner
d. biker shorts, pimples, ihop

which sentence conveys a protrayal of the decaying soul?
a. bro there is no way i am not going to the grove.
b. the heirarchy of food is a fable.
c. wasabi peanuts for dinner.
d. i want to wear high heels tonight.

literally PAPER plans and planes

fact: my grandmother will make you the best cuban food you will ever eat this west of the plate tectonic. yet she will also sardonically steal your investment money, hustle some shipments from taiwan and rob you out of your taxes. you can thank her for my daunting sense of humor and wry social skills.


7:56!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALL-ives

to the guy who spilt the drink in my hand,

to all the fans: go to your neighborhood ale house and ask for bread; they have none.
I NEVER SLEEEEEEP

don't im us.

you add water (10:24:00 PM): whichever come first
The love chorus (10:24:00 PM): whichever comes first

suspenDEERs (ilovedeers sarah palin dont kill them)

"waaaat, yea right BrRoOoo, i told him already. da today i waz gonna go out with da gurlz cuz iiii havent seen u guys in forever AND AH DAy. ANG like i GWent to go get this cute FOUKKEN shirt and da mall and everything gUUuy. sSsoOOOO whatever BRoooO i know this other guy who said da' he can get us intooo preee-vay and i was lie' HOOK IT UP YOOOOOOO. whatEVERR-RR Yea wear something cutiee because U never knoww. pero SO, like pick me up like later i'm gonnaaa go iron my hair and make it NICEEEEE and shiny for the clubb cuzz maybe i come out in one of DOSE pix from da computerrrrrrr"

ROUND 4!!!!

vs.

DUE TO MY COWORKERS EXTREMELY CRITICAL EYE, I'M BATTLING AN INANIMATE OBJECT. I THINK THE WINNER IS CLEAR. GO ON AND CLICKY!

OH it is YOU!

i feel like i have little tiny anvils sitting pretty on my eye lids. especially the left one. shiny ones like baby staplers with minute staples innocuously packed like sardines within. probably whispering to each other, jettisoning comments about linsday lohan and eva longoria. with their heads aloft, jumping up and down on my eye lashes. but the axiom remains; i hate people who suck up to me.

i do not believe in remorse, the concept is inconclusive to me. remorse is a nice way of saying i seriously dislike you but i am inhibitedly polarized by my lack of balls so i will say i have these fancy hateful feelings for you. SPEAK UP!

SHORTS SHORTS SHORTS!!!!!

BAAAAAD ideas brrrrOooOo

DEELITE COME BACK!

ANTS DONT SLEEP so you shouldn't either.

for the first time all week it is six motherfucking thirtry and i am actually intaking small, acute dosages of hydrogen monoxide while starring at my computer like a jettisoning wave toppling the depths of my oceanic phantasm.

okay what is up with this centrifical force of tyrannical humidity? the stank ass still air seeps up my orifices in an unimaginably pestilential way. speaking of pests, WEDNESDAY IS THE MOST FRUSTRATING DAY OF THE WEEK. you're the one night stand that calls 2 days later with some inticing date invitation. stop fucking with my head, get out of my life because friday has ingenius style and way better musical judgement (and a hybrid).


i wore my favorites today

work makes me want to regress to the womb. it is like hitting your shin with a cement block completely by accident. the shock value is fresh even after 2 and a half years. i am reluctant to talk about my job because of its selfless nature and superiority. if i did i'd make you all feel like ununionized walmart workers sharing java chip frapuccinos on your thirty minute lunch break.

observation 9/10
nerd girl cliques are unique because they all share the primordial quest for excitement, debauchery and eternal innocence. they embody the paradox of inadequate commoner sass. by early adulthood they should have fully developed a tasteless addiction to top 40 music and charlotte russe. one day they will go to space and get tenderly inebriated. it will be their boss' birthday or a friend's bachelorette celebration. why else would they leave the comfort of kendall's second-teir suburbs? then, upon arrival and settlement they will tell eccentric stories and amplified details of the truth to create a compelling version of their mundane reality: dennys with the girls and myspace photos for all.

MEXICO.

nothing but a pig in lipstick.
and no, that is not a jab at the "VEEEPEEE" nominee.
in addition, it might be wise of her to write a new speech. we get it. soccer mom. who ever respected them in the first place?
probably those companies that make those ribbon decals "SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!" "SUPPORT CANCER RESEARCH!" "Y100 IS MY HOMEBOY."
soccer moms keep them in business.

tailspin - darkwing duck

i think this is where i left my heart in 2006. i wanna go back to SF. eat burritos and endure ankle injuries. smelly feet & odd coin-operated museums. stingrays & level 1 indian food. pumpkin candy corn & the ultimate Forever 21. ice cream in the cold & falling asleep with The Omen on. Yesenia's backyard & Danny's hispanic entourage.

eff that noiZe (coined)

do you have stress? soon you will be a sovereign state of untroubled serenity.
STRESSBALLZZ!!!

nothing to lose.

a glimpse into my very near future:

little shiny diamonds.

is the amount of times i have listened to the new Pitbull song in the past 2 minutes.
i've done at least 180 bpm's of gratuitous booty popping.
lil' jon has escalated from infant prodigy to LSD. (OKKAYYY).
i'm pretty positive that all my interconnected neural pathways have disintegrated to crumbs.
someone please push the big red "DO NOT PUSH" button.



copa de champana.

i only

say organic pepperoni; no thanks. heres my version of the quadratic equation: