S-A-T-U-R-D-A-Y HEY
Saturday, September 6, 2008
zomma zomma
"as a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. those are the two key elements. you can't be like pancakes...all exciting at first, but then by the end you're fuckin' sick of em."
i put my ear to the ground today and heard the earth move.
i put my ear to the ground today and heard the earth move.
Friday, September 5, 2008
deBUNKED: WATTOWEAR edition
now 4 MOi:
/` `.__
\_ _., `'-._ _.--.
_`_ ) | / _ \
/ `/ /'---./ / \ \--.___
\__./ /--.. /``-\ '-.___`\
'-' `--` `--` \/
/` `.__
\_ _., `'-._ _.--.
_`_ ) | / _ \
/ `/ /'---./ / \ \--.___
\__./ /--.. /``-\ '-.___`\
'-' `--` `--` \/
fake TIITTTY party...
newfangled college drop out or graduate,
when you wear off white docker shorts and that ethically acceptable crew/shaggy/ben afflect hair cut i feel like drizzling my skinny latte on you with a spoon and watching your nautica polo imbibe the tan magic of starbucks. next, i'll let your significantly primitive looking friend whisper-scream something like "STEEEEAAADDDYYYY" in his best dayonette-vintage-navy voice. in the light of such chivalry i will feel predisposed to wholeheartedly laugh a boisterous twaddle. get back to your hotel room BRRAOOOH, i heard the delano has quite a collection of victoria secret panty representatives from atlanta.
when you wear off white docker shorts and that ethically acceptable crew/shaggy/ben afflect hair cut i feel like drizzling my skinny latte on you with a spoon and watching your nautica polo imbibe the tan magic of starbucks. next, i'll let your significantly primitive looking friend whisper-scream something like "STEEEEAAADDDYYYY" in his best dayonette-vintage-navy voice. in the light of such chivalry i will feel predisposed to wholeheartedly laugh a boisterous twaddle. get back to your hotel room BRRAOOOH, i heard the delano has quite a collection of victoria secret panty representatives from atlanta.
LEVEL 5 MAAAGIVER -bless you-
years ago when i emerged from a single watermelon seed; cake was a proper, well-established food group.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
sell ur services.
a persons attractiveness can drop 10 fold the minute their gaping mouth hanger opens.
intergalactic DRAGON+squuuuiiiirreeell
the blur reads: i may be broke but I'm not flat busted.
stop complaining about your pudge most people find it sexy and somewhat demeaningly attractive because guys who are really into pretty girls will see you and think they might as well hold fort while they got something decent to have inspid-besotted affable copulation with. plus i heard guys like pitbulls, especially ones with lipstick and vampire fangs.
HEYYY-loooo hp laserjet 1012!
office supplies are probing thorns in my side,
with that said, welcome to the rest of your week. the piteous excuse you had for smiling on tuesday is rekindled this afternoon. although the sun--almighty and grandouise for its deity--crip walks across the sky, it will set brothers and sisters. it will set and tomorrow will transpire. sarah palin will attempt to have more offspring and the republican national beerfest will dissipate like the pumpkin flax granola that i got at whole foods four days ago.
HAPPY HOURZ!
with that said, welcome to the rest of your week. the piteous excuse you had for smiling on tuesday is rekindled this afternoon. although the sun--almighty and grandouise for its deity--crip walks across the sky, it will set brothers and sisters. it will set and tomorrow will transpire. sarah palin will attempt to have more offspring and the republican national beerfest will dissipate like the pumpkin flax granola that i got at whole foods four days ago.
HAPPY HOURZ!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
bestwordever
SPERLUNKING!!!!
gulliani is making my brain turn into angel hair pasta.
first class snow queen.
gulliani is making my brain turn into angel hair pasta.
first class snow queen.
PHLASH FOTOGRAFY
im gonna try my damndest to perform an acceptable blogpost right now. i've been out of my home with no food since the wee morning. now it is the big scary night and it will envelop me like big scary dark things do.
TOPICS OF INTEREST:
mitt romney is a fucking goon. he induces not even a miniscule of a miniscule of sense when it comes to agruing. all he has to fall back on is name calling and a bed of non-aborted babies. you like him cause he's got morality? cause he's way in favor of the Christian nation? good for you. he's also extremely discriminitive, to the point where I would be considered an african-american in his eyes. fuck this guy. he deserves every expletive I was yelling at the radio, as I was on my way home to my leftist liberal sin barrel. premarital sex.
listen. i HATE being single. no, it's not cause i NEED a boyfriend, it's a WANT. a desire. i love being in a relationship. i love the act of doing random gestures for someone. i crave human contact. being single requires the whole "getting to know people, who am i, who are you, and what will i find out in 10 months that ur lying about" deal. given the oppurtunity, i'm a great girlfriend. i can say that with complete confidence. maybe that's a quality i put in the hierarchy of my personality, i dont know. but i do know that not having anyone to go home to except a TV and 2 cats that you dont even know the names of, is pretty lackluster.
my job. ::sigh:: here's a few phrases that i hear on a daily basis.
"i'm gonna go slam a sandwhich"
"let me shoot you an e-mail and you can make heads or tails of it"
",but she can be kind of a bitch" <---particularly my boss's favorite saying. comes almost immediately after every sentence.
"ya off to your bake sale?"
dead. serious. on a daily.
diego.
this dude goes "i'ma eat paper"
TOPICS OF INTEREST:
mitt romney is a fucking goon. he induces not even a miniscule of a miniscule of sense when it comes to agruing. all he has to fall back on is name calling and a bed of non-aborted babies. you like him cause he's got morality? cause he's way in favor of the Christian nation? good for you. he's also extremely discriminitive, to the point where I would be considered an african-american in his eyes. fuck this guy. he deserves every expletive I was yelling at the radio, as I was on my way home to my leftist liberal sin barrel. premarital sex.
listen. i HATE being single. no, it's not cause i NEED a boyfriend, it's a WANT. a desire. i love being in a relationship. i love the act of doing random gestures for someone. i crave human contact. being single requires the whole "getting to know people, who am i, who are you, and what will i find out in 10 months that ur lying about" deal. given the oppurtunity, i'm a great girlfriend. i can say that with complete confidence. maybe that's a quality i put in the hierarchy of my personality, i dont know. but i do know that not having anyone to go home to except a TV and 2 cats that you dont even know the names of, is pretty lackluster.
my job. ::sigh:: here's a few phrases that i hear on a daily basis.
"i'm gonna go slam a sandwhich"
"let me shoot you an e-mail and you can make heads or tails of it"
",but she can be kind of a bitch" <---particularly my boss's favorite saying. comes almost immediately after every sentence.
"ya off to your bake sale?"
dead. serious. on a daily.
diego.
this dude goes "i'ma eat paper"
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
HASBROOOOOOS!
i'd like to regress to habitual times with simplified assets and amplified neurotic tendencies. in so far as that mine do not appear so gargantuant.
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